Saturday, February 23, 2002


I wanted to blog about yesterday’s historical event in my life – the baby shower for our second child who is soon to come into the Christian world this April, however I was dumbfounded by this seemingly outdated truth about the meaning of a word “geek” when referring to a person. Gone are the days when you refer a word geek by its original meaning as what this guy (now I don’t know how to call him) painstakingly copied the meaning of a geek from different versions of a Dictionary. It doesn’t need one to consult Mr. Webster what the true meaning of a geek is. If indeed he thinks I mean it well when I referred him as computer geek, then why the fuss of explaining it like I was a moron or an idiot who doesn’t even know the word I used. In all respect, I simply cannot fathom how could he catch the word out of context when it is very clearly stated without any form of ridicule or malice. He admitted he is advanced but why this unimaginable, ridiculous and embarrassing perception? It’s now a geeky world man for all you know. It’s used like a form of mantra already in the world wide web just so you wake up and transcend from that “old school”, conservative view point.

Let me stress that I cannot allow any form of grandstanding or benchlifting here as I think it is downright cheap and foul to include orientation, education, social status or what the heck one has achieved in life to rightly say that he has all the authority to wage a self-proclaimed information campaign at the guise of protecting human dignity to a crowd who are equally or even more capable of showing a myriad of talents or skills. Well, it takes a track record or credibility so as to speak to do such a noble cause . My hair raises at the sight of this unthinkable and unbecoming gesture of someone who looks at other people as bench-sitters and he as a performer. “Do not offend the person by his style but offend the person by his substance.” If truly one speaks with depth and integrity, he will not malign someone’s personal choice to do what he thinks is best for his life and who the the hell cares if someone migrates to the moon or mars and suffer his extinction. Stagnation as what he points out to people who tries his luck in foreign shores is again a selfish justification of his narrow and boxed-in perception. If that is the case, I don’t want to be mean but some of the early settlers in Canada are Chinese people and that you might be very thankful to your ancestors for setting foot also in this country leaving their place of origin to find a greener pasture. You could have not been who you are now. If that is your rationalization, then you better look at your family history. I hate to pinch a single grain of racism here or poke out a racial discrimination because I have great respect for every race and their co-existence.

My intention here is not to vindicate myself or illicit a debate over a petty use of a word “geek” but this to me has not challenged my provocativeness if only to speak with tactfulness and integrity. If you are stranded to exploit the Dictionary everytime a word is used, then you are at a loss my friend. The world is continuously evolving and through the years, our language has evolved too, thus it is not safe to refer every word by its original meaning or context. If I have to elucidate further and confine my discussion on the parameters of the use of the word Geek, here are some bits and pieces for you. Since you used a dictionary to justify your perception, then let me also show you this write-up to counter your thoughts.


author: Tom Ziegler
posted: 2/21/2002

A geek by any other name would smell as sweet. With apologies to Willy "The Bard" Shakespeare, that needs to be amended. In my effort to discover the origin of the word "geek," as in the ... ahem, illustrious dot-com that bears its name, I've been doing some online digging into past issues of magazines and newspapers to see how these words are used. Though by no means a scholarly work to be cited in worthy annals of learning, this research hinted at a usage of both "geek" and "nerd" in our language that is essentially different. It also indicates how the two changed over the past decade.


Which of these two words do you think has the earliest usage? It appears that "geek" outstrips "nerd" by almost 400 years! Seems Mr. Alexander Barclay back in England wrote the following in 1570:

He is a foole, a sotte, and a geke also Which choseth ... the worst [way] and most of ieoperdie [jeopardy]. Why, old Willy used it in Twelfth Night, Scene I, as Malvolio says to Olivia: Why have you suffer'd me to be imprison'd, kept in a dark house, visited by the Priest, And made the most notorious gecke and gull That e're invention play'd on?

(To further this tiny literature lesson, the famous line "... some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrown upon them," is said by the clown a few lines later--end of literature lesson).

As many others have commented, "geek" came to be associated with carnival acts as the "madman" who concluded his performance with the forcible removal of a chicken's head by using just his teeth (sometimes a snake was substituted to add variety). The geek aspect was really coined by the carnival (carnie) folks because the poor stiff so was so down on his luck either by alcohol or drugs that he would be willing do the madman bit. William Gresham made the term popular through the 1946 book Nightmare Alley. By 1962 "geek" still retained its carnie verbiage, but lost the chicken's head. Now the person appears more of a dupe:

He picks up a waitress, a simple girl, and enslaves a "geek," a dumb sideshow stooge whose daily routine consists of being exhibited in a pit, which he has to dig for himself.

Sorry, I don't know the author or published work from whence this came. I'm even sorrier that I can't find references to "geek" for the '70s and '80s without extensive research done the old fashioned way through books. Nonetheless, we know to where it leads.

Another book popularized the term "nerd." None other than Theodore Geissel (a.k.a. Dr. Seuss) wrote about Gerald McGrew's wish to fill the zoo with more unusual beasts, including the Nerd, in his 1950 book If I Ran the Zoo. (Taken from If I Ran the Zoo by Theodor Geisel, copyright 1950.) This is conjecture, of course, but since the term was not found in text till after the publication of this book, where else did it originate?


I consulted a few databases thanks to the online resources of my public library, where I can browse over 1,800 newspapers and magazines for the words "geek" or "nerd." Then I checked to see if the words were used in a negative or positive connotation. Again, this is not conclusive, but I came up with some interesting observations. The word "nerd" is used in a negative fashion, yet it is more akin to being brilliant. "Geek," on the other hand, tends for the longest time to be more of a term of derision. In the 1992 journal Progressive, "geek" was a word used by prison guards to insult the inmates. "Nerd" still held onto its techno-brainy allegory, with it acquiring status as a group moniker for high school students. Those newspapers I browsed which reported on the Columbine High School tragedy in April 1999 had students quoted as saying that the perpetrators were likened to "geeks." Sad commentary indeed, however another interesting phenomenon occurred in 1999-2000 that turned the tables. Yes, I'm referring to the Dot-Com Boom.

In 1999-2001 nearly all of the publications I browsed had "geek" as a positive term, lauding the accomplishments of Web dignitaries such as Jeff Bezos and Marc Andreesen. More interesting was that during this period of 1999-2001 those articles which contained "nerd" used the word in a derogatory manner. Sure, not indicative, but interesting nonetheless. It's like I've always believed: economics rules the world.

So, are we geeks now vindicated? Have we passed the test of time with our heads high, delighted to shout into our cellphones (complete with Web browsing and GPS capabilities, of course), "I'm a Geek, and damned proud of it!" This is probably the concept to describe Kevin, a student, quoted in the magazine Teen, July 1998:

Kevin is also one of the campus brains--and he's smart enough not to let it bother him when kids call him "Poindexter" or "geek."

"They're sitting there laughing--and failing," he says. "I'm getting As and Bs and thinking to myself, 'In 10 years, you'll be making minimum wage and I'll be your boss earning $100,000 a year.'"


I hope this will not in any way ensue a brawl or fistfight just for being a geeky or not. If I referred you as a geek ( I’m not branding or go into stereotyping for God sake) and you vehemently refuse to fit into that description then, I am here to officially denounce that act of putting you to a higher spectrum of today’s Information Superhighway as a geek (as the modern, cool, hip meaning connotes just in case you don’t know). I am not in to describe you again for anything least get a backlashing in my own little way of appreciating your wondrous deeds young as you are. In fairness to you, I think you are way ahead of the race compared to guys of your age. However, let me tell you that it doesn’t make us any different from the rest of the people out there. We have only different lives to live but in totality, we have the same existence in this world and that doesn’t make us any better than others if only equality of human race is indeed present in this sorry world. As a parting shot, I have decided to put this lengthy blog in my own site as I don’t want to mess up LP’s site in fairness and with due respect to my fellow members. Moreso, I do not intend to make LP, a group of multi-talented and admired young people, a venue to feed our egos and a repository for brandishing or tongue-lashing. I have consistently admired the talents and potentials of my fellow LP from the very start and I have a high respect for every human being. It is simply outrageous to think that someone flexes some muscles only to smart out or flambouyantly displays his tucked-in credentials like everyone else is rotten. You can call a man scorned or a whore but that to me is something I would not mind depending who is saying it and how it is said.


Friday, February 22, 2002


My wife has been experiencing stomach pains the past few days. We thought it was just a plain diarrhea or indigestion. Last night, she couldn’t bear the incessant pain running across her bulging stomach (she’s 8 months pregnant to our second child – lucky us..it’s a girl). As a “veteran”(if I may call myself) health advisor (having worked in a health care company and at the same time a professional caregiver), I simply did my job not just being a husband but to remain calm and strong. I have learned to stay unaffected in situations like this as I have gone through taking care of my Mom who got paralyzed due to high blood pressure. In several instances, my son Nico has been brought to a hospital due to asthma and allergies. Now, I feel not as paranoid or shaky than before. Sometimes, I get scared people around me might look at it negatively not showing my true feelings or emotions as it is surely be both emotionally and physically exhausting in the process.

My wife’s urine exam showed that she contracted Urinary Track Infection (UTI) with large amount of puss cells forming clusters already. Pregnant women usually are prone to UTI coz of their inability to wash out bacteria (due to the expansion of their belly) from their urinary tract thus causing infection. Well, she has to be confined and be injected with antibiotic coz its really hard to undergo oral medications as it might complicate her pregnancy. Today, she underwent another ultrasound to check the baby inside which showed that the baby is perfectly okay. I should have objected since it would be my wife’s second ultrasound coz it is not advisable to undergo ultrasound more than once but my instinct prevailed just to make sure my wife and our little angel is safe. Before the morning is over, another Doctor checked my wife again, an Internist who later suggested that my wife undergoes an insulin treatment because she has a rather high (unstable) blood sugar level. This is again purely diagnostic and prevention (which I believe there is a thin boundary between being medically necessary or just for commercial purposes). Well, when you just want the best for your wife and safety is your primary concern for the baby, sometimes you can’t help but subscribe to this dirty fuckin tricks of these vultures who just hide behind the cloak of being a Doctor.

I must be so mean to think about it but in my ten years of working in a Health Maintenance Organization, I have learned to identify what is really medically necessary to control the cost of medication. I may not be a medical practitioner but common sense will dictate that these purely diagnostic examinations are but a money making ventures of these highly commercialized hospitals aside from the fact that they don’t guarantee accurate results.

Last night while I was deep in slumber in my watcher’s couch , the Nurse woke me up instructing me to go down the laboratory but when I reached the ground floor, I was given a request for ECG which I eventually found out that I was not the right person that they wanted to come down. I went up the staircase fuming like hell and when I turned left the alley where my wife’s room is located I met the Nurse who mistakenly woke me up showing no signs of courtesy even just to say sorry. I stared sharply at her like I was to devour her. When I reached the door feeling that it was so insensitive and unbecoming of a Nurse, I slammed the door really hard getting my wife alarmed with the loud bang it caused.

Just this morning our breakfast came with no spoon, fork and a glass. We wondered how could we possibly eat without those amenities not to mention that our room is Private. I was starting to fume again upon reading the guidelines that a Private room includes the admission kit (spoon, fork, glass, etc) and a refrigerator which we cannot see in sight. I was holding my temper not to ruin my day. I wanted to cry out loud but again my built-in emotion-controller-machine prevailed. In fairness to the hospital, they have a large, clean, fully airconditioned private room, the first class hospital that we have in town. After some silent murmurs, I peeped out of the window and saw just before my very eyes that the hospital is undergoing expansion. Isn’t it that they are trying to squeeze their patients pocket to gather enough funds to erect those structures? Gee, I can only take a deep sigh. In this commercial world, everything comes without a free lunch.

At last, she will be discharged tomorrow just in time for our scheduled baby shower at the Davao Convention Center. I could have cancelled the party but I think we just have to push through with it and looks like “the show must go on”. Thanks for all those who said prayers for the immediate recovery of my wife and the baby’s safety. You are all my strength in this trying times but you even made me stronger to realize that God is really so good all the time.

Tuesday, February 19, 2002


I have been marvelling at many thoughts lately and I have this uncanny experience of learning how beautiful life is. Life indeed is so short. Oddly enough, it is much shorter for those whose lives they find meaningful while it is too long for those whose lives they find meaningless.

Now and then, I also ask what meaning has my life really. Often, I feel like I know but at other times, my thinking looks like a useless mental excercise. Life is just so vast, so full of mysteries that before I can put meaning to my life, part of it is gone and the meaning I try putting on it is already partly exhausted.

Life, so it seems. is like a dry sand slipping through my fingers. When I try to hold on to it very tightly, as if squeezing it, it slips away faster. But when I try to cast it away, it sticks on my hands. Sometimes, I think to appreciate life best, one has neither to hold on to it tightly nor to let it go carelessly. The sand in the hourglass is life. It is better to let it flow freely, although not carelessly.

Ricky..My conversations with you are so intensed that makes me wonder about life too. You have the best life as compared to the other people around you. But it doesn't stop you from looking for what makes you happy and fulfilled in your own right. What you are going through is a very normal phase that everyone encounters in life. There seems to be many questions hoovering us but yet, we don't know the answers why? How we take life is often dictated by what priorities we have. We have to prioritize what are the things that last which could have real meaning in one's life.

Now, please take time to view this - http://www27.brinkster.com/maripipian/pulitzer1994.jpg. You will feel how lucky you are and hopefully, this will make you feel good about yourself. I have been taken by strings of loneliness when I saw that but in the end it made me realized how blessed I am. Mind you, i still go back at it from time to time and I can't help but sometimes get depressed.

Sunday, February 17, 2002


To bend or not to bend...

I thought this morning that if religion serves to give orientation to lives, then what happens when the orientation needs to change? Does religion need to bend with me, or do I need to bend religion? Is that why there are so many different sects and denominations, from people bending it? It seems that way. I wonder if it is possible to change the orientation without changing the religion. I think that there is another way of looking at it, outside of bending and not bending.

From Anthony Robbins' book "Ultimate Power"

Every religious book on the planet talks about the power and effect of belief on mankind. People who succeed on a major scale differ greatly in their beliefs from those who fail. Our beliefs about what we are and what we can be precisely determine what we will be. If we believe in magic, we will have a magical life. If we believe our life is defined by narrow limits, we've suddenly made those limits real. What we believe to be true, what we believe is possible, becomes what's true, becomes what's possible.


This brought back memories....or didn't....

My memory is bad and getting worse. This morning I tried to count how many women I’ve slept with. The number I arrived at was three less than the last time I did this, which was several years ago, I think. Instead of going down by three, the number should have gone up by one, so that’s actually four missing women. It’s disturbing. I should say that the total number is not so high as to excuse oversights.

Also, I’ve never been one for casual sex — causal kissing, perhaps, but not casual sex. So again it would seem that the MIAs are probably all women who at one time I really liked and may have even gone out for a few weeks before realizing it wouldn’t work, or vice versa.

It bothers me to have forgotten them. And what it makes me think is that I should write down the names of the ones I do remember, in case I forget them as well.

This seem tacky, doesn’t it, to make such a list?

I think it seems tacky.

But then I picture myself at ninety and I can’t remember a single woman I’ve ever slept with, not even what’s-her-name, the contortionist.

I’m ninety and I think I’m a virgin.

Fuck it, I’m making that list.

Wednesday, February 13, 2002


Vanilla Sky seems to me a must-see movie. From the reviews I got from the celebrity and awesome couple Ricky and Bel, it is something not to let pass especially for people who believe in dreams. I am a great believer of dreams and it is indeed a good opportunity for me to share how dreams affect and control my life.

Why on earth should we need to "work" on our dreams anyway? Surely, if dreams have a function (and some people do not believe that they have), then they fulfill it anyway, whether we "work" on them or not. That seemed to me a quite persuasive line of argument but to me, dreams become us. They sort out the myriad of expressions we take in every day; they fulfill our repressed wishes and punish us for long-forgotten sins; they terrify and enrapture us; they solve puzzles and set new ones; they bring the dead
to life, and rub salt in old wounds; they awaken longings for impossible things and people and plunge into thrilling erotic adventures with partners we would never consider in waking life; they change our moods for better or worse, transport us to heaven and hell - and provide us with hilarious or shocking tales to tell.

Has anyone got a dream to tell? Something that awakened you in the middle of the night, whether you trembled with fear, calling out names at the top of your voice, moaning and groaning (the hell if you have your brother or father beside you in the bed and found out you were already pondling them because you dreamt of Pamela Anderson or Julia Roberts) and yes, it happens to a lot of people waking up wet in the morning. Lol. (hey don't say I'm wrong..it does really happen especially during our teenage years, haven't you?).

Indeed dreams come in various forms. It is said that dreams are the royal road to the unconscious. I am a big dreamer and in my dreams I have seen the life that I made through these years. I have learned to work on my dreams and seek what it really meant. But dreams can be misleading. It is such tricksy and treacherous phenomena. It is very difficult to understand what our dreams mean because we are usually biased by what we want them to mean. It works well when its best left alone but isn't it best to know and discover whats in our mind where dreams are culled? Isn't it better to know the inner most recesses of our humanity and
contribute more to our external world? In simple analogy, how can we fulfill our plans or aspirations if we don't even understand what our own dreams are. How can we learn to control the negative and destructive forces in the world if we cannot even understand , never mind control, those forces within ourselves?

As the song goes: "Dreams are my reality..." Yes it is. It makes you or breaks you. Reality is two-faced..the bitter and the sweet. Start working on your dreams and be the best that you can be.

Tuesday, February 12, 2002


I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright. I wish you enough rain
to appreciate the sun more. I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit
alive. I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much
bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough
loss to appreciate all that you possess. I wish you enough "Hello's" to get
you through the final "Good-bye"

"Did you ever say goodbye to someone knowing it would be forever???"

Do you want to know your past life, character traits, relationship potentials and challenges, as well as career potentials, and even more? Try this. Here's my result:

This report is a synthesis of Jerry's past life and planetary interlife interpretations originally given clairvoyantly by Edgar Cayce, for individuals with your same planetary patterns at birth. So in applying this report to your personal life, Jerry, you should RESPECT INNER GUIDANCE -- through dreams, meditation and past life regression for example -- as primary resources for this kind of information; and most important, RESPECT YOUR FREE WILL! You alone must choose and know what is really best for you.

Your Sun is in Sagittarius (Tropical zodiac).

Great expanses of space, including the seemingly endless expanse of oceans, are likely to call to you, Jerry, and in them you probably find some of your most quieting and comforting experiences. In your past lives, then, under circumstances when great expanses and very broad spaces brought you the most insightful and contemplative experiences of your mental being, it was then that spiritually you probably gained the most For example, traveling long ago as a Spanish, English or even Japanese settler, pioneer or explorer, you may have crossed the oceans in search of a better world. You were then part of a strong sea-faring culture which frequently set out --over a period of many centuries -- to explore, invade and often defeat enemies and cultures usually much greater in
strength and size. Jupiter is the planet which rules or symbolizes the heart of Sagittarian energies, supplying you with a broadly
courageous -- though at times daredevil -- quality. Yet underneath this often exciting exterior lies a calm but calculating mind.
Another characteristic experience is one or more past lives involving a lot of movement, change and separation from your family and your cultural roots.

In your deeper meditations you might recall urges and impressions of migrating at the time of the Deluge of Atlantis (commonly called the Great Flood), to other, safer lands to begin a new life and a new age of history. Your more intimate, personal relationships often may not be as harmonious as you would really like for them to be. This challenge is rooted in past lives when, as in the present, you were somewhat inclined to prefer partnerships capable of enduring considerably different interests through a great deal of diverse activity.

Do you want to hear my side on the above report? Yes, indeed it is very much well-assimilated in my life now and before. I was personally struck with the findings highlighted above as a result of my past life. I have been moving here and there in the past 10 years. I have stayed in Manila, Laguna, Cebu and now in Davao City which is very much a big reason why I transferred as I recall. I always want to be on a safer and solid ground for me to live peacefully not putting so much on the material side. I am a bit inclined to thinking that my application as an Immigrant to Canada will bear fruit anytime from now (hopefully, as I wait for my notice from the Canadian Embassy). If this is my destiny and as a way of telling me about what is happening and going to happen in my life, then I must say I am on the right track.

Saturday, February 09, 2002

I went back to Davao last Wednesday from my supposed to be one-week stay in Manila which was extended to a 2-week shopping galore, super, fantastic gigs and wonderful, chatful, awesome EB's with my fellow Lalaking Pinoy. I still feel so overthrown from my normal self here in Davao as if I can't get enough of my temporary liberty making rounds in those humongous malls and classiest resto, bar and hotels in Makati and Libis without so much self-imposed restriction. You know what I mean and that sounds pretty much of a call for self-exile once in a while.

My body is still unrested and can't get enough sleep as I still have to catch up all the work that I left here in Davao when I was away. Right now, I'm supervising the painting and setting of the tile floor for Nico's room which doubles as a work and play room at the same time. I decided to have it painted with light blue with matching dark shiny blue tile floor. The closet, toy display cabinet and study table of Nico will be painted with yellow and on the other side will be my semi-working place so I can make my time with my son productively. The feeling of being so close and attached to your son as he grows is such a wonderful experience as a father. As a parenting advice book once said: "Enjoy your time with your son as he grows for you will never be able to bring him back again as a child." Sounds great and I do agree. There will be times that your patience will be tested as you try to guide and develop your son as a good person someday but as much as possible I try to strectch my patience and focus more on how I would be able to bring out the best in him. Indeed, having a son is really a work in progress. There's no way you can fail in here and that' s a big challenge that I am faced being a father. There's no retake, backtracking or gliding here. What you make your son to be in the future is the result of how you train and develop him today.

Got to park here for awhile. I still have so many things to write in here and would just need to be unloaded before it clogs me. I'll be taking my lunch now.

Friday, February 08, 2002

Its been a long time I haven't updated my blog here. I have been crazy doing my new layout but sad to say there were so many things that came in the way and here I am still egoistically doing my best shot at it. I simply don't want to feel bad about not having a brand new layout that would exactly express my current state of mind..feelings or emotions..whatever that is in my head. Well, the start of the year has not been so pretty good if only I allowed it to sink in and let it totally ruin me. I have a choice and that choice is always what matters to me. I have chosen to be positive and to put my feet always in the best stride forward in life no matter how terrible life could be. Yes, I have gambled in so many ways all my life and all those bear no regrets coz I have learned through the years to control my life the way I want it to be despite the pain and miseries that life can bring.

I want to believe life is wonderful and that is what comes out of me. Life is comfortable and that is what makes me feel good all the time. Life is an opportunity and that inspires me to share my life experiences to people in whatever and however it will affect them positively (hopefully). Life is a game and that makes me play life in the wildness of my thoughts. Life is a plan and that pushes me to work my life the way I want it to be. Indeed life is a bunch of happiness..only happiness..because to me life is a celebration of humanity and that is something that I always look life at. No way to fears..insecurities..emotional downturns and all those atrocities that just spoil life. Yes, I am still human. I know what or how others feel but I decided to feel this way. It is a choice and a choice that you can make. When you have chosen and you chose to be happy and feel the goodness of life, then you have won. Congratulations and you will have a long way to go.

As a confirmatory act, I tried myself at knowing my colorgenics personal profile. Yes, amazingly true. Here is the result.

You are seeking an affectionate relationship, offering fulfilment and happiness. You are capable of powerful emotional enthusiasm. Deep down, you are a kind loving person, always helpful and willing to adapt yourself if necessary to realise the bond of affection that you desire. But you need the same consideration and understanding from others...and it is this need that sometimes will hold you back ... so let go - trust and you may pleasantly surprised at what happens ...

You are working extremely hard - perhaps even over and beyond the call of duty. You are preparing for the future and therefore trying to build a firm trouble free foundation upon which you may base all of your dreams and aspirations.

At times all of us would like to be like the ostrich...to be able to bury our heads in the sand...and let the rest of the world go by...but unfortunately you can't do just that...you have to face up to reality. A little peace and quiet would be most acceptable at this time...but if only one could turn a blind eye to the problems of the day!... Tomorrow is another day, and who knows... it could be "today", (not tomorrow) that could be the first day of the rest of your life?

Whatever you strive to do, something always seems to be holding you back. There is no subterfuge in you. You are a clear thinker and all you demand from life, in a relationship, is a partner whom you can trust and with whom you can, together, develop a foundation of trust based on understanding. You are your own person... and you demand freedom of thought ...to follow your own convictions. You have no interest in "two-timing" and all you seek is sincerity and "straight-dealing".

You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion ... In fact you just don't want to be involved in any arguments of any shape or form ... All you want is for "them" to get on with it - and to leave you alone.

Oh well..just can't get enough of the recent jollibee commercial too, so here it goes:Bee happy!

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